Zero Tolerance Policy

No, not that kind of Zero Tolerance Policy (although I have zero tolerance for that too...and a host of other things, actually...hmmmm, perhaps this should be a recurring feature; something to consider later, certainly.)

Today's Zero Tolerance is, however, dedicated to stupid drivers. Yes, you know who you are. Now, I'm not claiming to be a perfect driver, far from it, actually, but I do know what is going on inside my vehicle, outside my vehicle, and in the lanes surrounding me. And, as I realize that I do not have the "patience of a saint" to be perfectly cliche, I try to let these things just drop after they happen. However, between yesterday and today, in basically less than 24 hours, I have encountered THREE stupid drivers, and I simply can't let it pass...so, if this was you, and by some miracle you are reading this, please, learn how to drive, and if you can't figure that out, perhaps you could look into some form of mass transit.

Now, I realize that some of you may be thinking "Have you thought that perhaps YOU are the stupid driver?" And, honestly, yes I have...but in this case, I'm pretty certain that it isn't me. So, I thought that  would share these "incidents" and you can be the judge...

Encounter One - Saturday Afternoon
I am driving down a "road" behind a couple of business establishments. It is more than an alley in size, but still, not really designed for two full lanes. If there are no cars on either side of the road, two cars can pass through in opposite directions, but as the parking lots leave something to be desired, there are often cars lining both sides, making it possible for only one way travel at a time. I am heading west on this "road" (and, of course, as previously described, the street is lined with cars on both sides, so only one car can fit through the path at a time.) when a woman comes flying around the corner, heading southeast. I see her and hit my brakes (I'm going probably faster than I should be, given the circumstances, I'm not going to lie, but she was going dangerously fast for where we were.) She SLAMS on her brakes, I even see her car bounce a bit from the force. Now, as she is clearly heading in the direction that I just came from, and there is NO ROOM for her to squeeze by me, I begin to go again. So does she. We both stop again. Now she puts both of her arms out in a "WTF are you doing, lady?!" kind of gesture. So, being the non-stupid driver that I am, I point to myself, point in the direction that I am heading, point to her, point back in my direction, in a statement that says, "I'm going that way, you're going where I am currently sitting, thusly making your travel not possible at the moment. Wait three seconds and then you'll have plenty of room to drive like a maniac." Then I wave at her (yes, with ALL FIVE fingers, I did really wave - and smile too!!) and said as I drove by "Have a nice day!" (not that she could hear me, but it was still the principle of the thing...)

Encounter Two - Sunday Morning
I like to drive fast, I do. I try to drive just slow enough to not get pulled over, which works sometimes, but fails epically other times. So, when I am already driving 60 on a two lane highway where the speed suggestion is 50, I don't really expect people to pass me. However, sure enough, I see this car in my rear view mirror this morning, begin to do just that. So, she pulls around me, flies by, gets back into the correct lane of traffic, and hits her brakes - HARD. I slam on mine, so as to not crash into her, and just when I'm thinking she almost caused an accident by being a jerk, thinking it would be funny to slow down once she passed me or something like that, she turns a hard left. So, not being a jerk, but being so engrossed in the fact that I wasn't driving fast enough for her, she passes me not realizing that the road she needs to turn onto is about 500 feet away...

Encounter Three - Sunday Afternoon
Now, this guy, technically wasn't driving, he was parked, however, he is being included in this post because of his ability to still be a complete idiot on the road. So, I pull into my apartment complex, and head for my assigned parking space. As I get close, I see that someone is parked, idling, obviously waiting for someone. Now, this parking lot has the room for two cars to fit by each other, pretty easily, so getting around him shouldn't have been too much of an issue. Except for the fact that he wasn't really by the curb, or the parked cars, but more in the middle of the road. Oh, and also, I wasn't trying to get by, he was blocking my assigned parking space...sorta. I realize that if you don't live there you might not know that the are assigned, so I honk my horn. Once. He points out the window to the left, indicating that he is waiting for someone in that building. Fine, I'll try to squeeze by and turn into my space...hopefully I won't swipe your car in doing so. At this point, any normal person with some common sense would, I hope, realize what I am trying to do and perhaps back up their car allowing me to maneuver into my space. Does this guy? No. Hence the stupid driver award. I mean, come on. And then, you wave at me when I get out of the car? What IS that? Is it, "sorry I'm an idiot" or "see, I knew you could do it!" ? I'm honestly not sure, and I'm not sure which is worse...

So, that's it...all three of my stupid driver stories from this weekend. Your turn...is it them or me?

Rebranding to Begin

So, I wanted to change the name of the blog for a while now, and since a lot of people aren't reading it quite yet, it seemed like the perfect time! :) So, sans drum roll, here it is! Shiny Objected...because, well, it is my term - no matter what you hear elsewhere, and I am one of the best at being Shiny Objected, and well, a lot of what I post is due to something that HAS Shiny Objected me...SO. New name, new look coming soon, same fun blog!

That's all I've got for now...but more to come soon!

-- Kelly